Obama economy hit him and his clients. I like this man very much, I enjoy his company and he is incredibly kind. The feelings you have about this relationship ending are identical to how he feels about his job/financial situation. In the 2nd or 3rd month of seeing him, he lost his job. He has been partying .cant tell if I am too focused on money or if he is using me for a sweet easy ride to hard earned high end lifestyle .. I said I can’t and will wait for him. Why is it so hard for people to give up on their dreams when it comes to money or careers but not relationships with other humans? He’ll ultimately need to work this out himself anyway, so anything you do that supports that is helpful and anything you do that interferes with that is unhelpful. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I didn’t know the reason at that time. JJJ, you are very right, it is easy to give and give and put the other person first. Maybe you have some financial secrets you need to be honest about as well. If his lack of employment is due to the type of work he does or a recession, you need to express your concerns to him. He explained them in a way that gave me the impression he had learned from these and had grown wiser in the ways of money. Men are constantly fed with impressions that lure them into thinking that self-sabotaging behaviors will reward them and should be pursued. I’m interested in developing a serious relationship (with the right person) and I want to avoid falling into the trap of being taken for granted by someone who isn’t willing to, or incapable of, putting in a sincere effort. He said he remembered from my online dating profile I had said I wanted a man … You found out about a new credit card or a secret bank account. I am in a very similar situation. We’ve been together for 5 yrs it breaks my hurt whenever i think about him cuz he still has me on his social medias. Major thankies for the article.Really thank you! Things were going pretty good up until a few weeks ago when he suggested that we be friends. There are many problems and disagreements you will run into in any relationship. My guy was making over 200,000 when I met him in 2009 in his own business. I want to give the guy a break, I know his problems are far more pressing than dinner w/ me but, being cancelled on at the last minute is a hot button w/ me to say the least. I am known as a saver and I found what appears to be a spender. Given everything I’ve explained in this post, I hope you see the wisdom and only real choice – move on to find a new man. 1 November 2019. Do i remove him from my social medias entirely? He said he wasn’t crazy about it. . ... the problems in a relationship or marriage can ... and it may require couples counseling or help from a financial … On his own. Then after some time, I really gave him some time. I am sooooo tempted to contact him, but I guess I should wait for him to contact me… Right? I told him i was going on vacation and i did, but when i came back from vacation he was working at my job! I can very well relate to you…the job hunting, and all sorts of financial assistance just to help him get through those difficult times. While the economy can be to blame in some instances, if he is being fired or quitting his jobs regularly, this can be a sign of unreliability and lack of responsibility. I think he thinks he is worthless and he is scared that he won’t be able to save enough money for our wedding. How do I deal with this without making him feel as though I think less of him? If a man child in his 30s and 40s still can’t get it together, he never will. i didn’t necessarily see it coming but i always knew of his difficulties, he does have a good paying job but i know that he has to financially look after his parents and siblings because they aren’t well but also very demanding. By 2010 his business took a sudden turn and he lost clients. When you consider that a bankruptcy can hinder his career and get you turned down for a loan for the next ten years, this is something that will have a major impact on your future together. These dating alerts are intended to help you put a finger to the problem and take remedial measures to secure your finances and relationship. All texts are contributed by our excellent writers. And wanted to also make him realize his situation since he doesn’t know about his own problems. Server responsed at: 12/25/2020 10:40 p.m. hi! I told him I want to continue seeing him because I like him a lot. Not everyone is present enough to see through it all, but the whole job/money and ego/identity crisis is a big illusion that men suffer from. Right now he tried being a Sales Man in a Car company, from the suit to shoes to everything I needed to buy him because there is an attire requirement. Then, I gave him a surprise meet. If a person treated you badly or couldn’t commit, that’s one thing. Most couples break up after a few months of dating because of financial constraints. But if you fell in love with someone and then a situation occurs outside of their control and up to that pount things were great and you have to split. Then you want to have a serious conversation about why he spends so much. Tackle the issues of how they got into so much debt and the best way to pay it off. . Maybe he actually had nobody to come to with problems occurring, so you just happen to be the only ears which listen. Then the “economy” happened and his clients could not afford his services. But they don’t know how to solve it since they don’t know the real cause. 3. not only that his brother and the wife borrowed 17,000 from me but does not want to repay me, and to think they know that I just borrowed it from the office. You'd be hard to find someone who didn't have some debt they are paying off. When you love someone, you want to help them. Friends and girlfriends can’t reach me. It sounds like the guy has problems that are so massive and overbearing in his mind that the relationship is unlikely to become a priority. Is it the same for guys or usually just a girl problem? I’ve helped him out here and there even when he says he doesn’t want my help but I do it anyway. He’s been going on less dates with you and he’s been sharing his financial difficulties with you. He is worthy of love still….he is worthy of a good woman. 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